Summer Holidays: Helping Your Child (and Yourself) Stay Regulated
Catriona Ross - August 2026
Image by Richard Bell
A therapist and parent shares some simple ideas to help you and your child stay regulated and connected over the summer holidays.
I wasn’t planning to write another blog this summer. But then I got to the end of week two of the summer holidays and thought ‘I know I’m not the only parent finding this tough’.
The sass, the rudeness, the meltdowns, the relentlessness of the holidays.
As a play therapist, I understand that my child’s window of tolerance has shrunk, due to the change in routine and the loss of predictability that comes with no school over the holidays. As a parent living with these behaviours everyday, there are moments I feel like pulling my hair out.
So I thought I’d write a quick blog to both remind myself and share with others, what helps my family and the families I work with to regulate their emotions over the summer holidays.
Here are some ideas.
Image by Brandi Alexandra
Keep some shape to the day. Not a timetable. A shape. That works for your family. Predictability regulates the nervous system even when very little else seems to.
Build in movement. Get the body moving and get outside, if you can. A bike ride, a bounce on the trampoline, a walk to the shop, a trip to the park. It all gives the nervous system a chance to regulate.
Build in low-demand time and don’t over plan for the summer. Unpredictability already costs a child energy. Fewer plans, more low-demand time each day, and there’s less to regulate in the first place. And if screens are part of that low-demand time – that’s not a failure on your part. It’s what helps your kid and helps you.
Name the feeling before you address the behaviour. "You're furious because our plans changed" lands before any strategy does. Naming an emotion can help to calm the brain. A child needs to feel understood before they can hear about what they’ve done wrong. Connect with your child before you correct them.
Repair after you've lost it. You will lose your temper at least once this summer. You’re going to snap, you're going to shout. It happens. What matters isn't you losing your temper, it's what you do next. "I shouldn't have shouted, I was frustrated, that wasn't fair on you" teaches a child more about relationships than any amount of calm does.
Image by Souvik Naskar
For you
You are allowed to find this hard. Loving your child and finding the holidays exhausting are not contradictions. Don't let anyone — including yourself — tell you otherwise.
Your regulation comes first, not last. Children co-regulate with the important adults in their life. This isn't guilt-tripping — it's physiology. A 2-minute pause for you before you respond to a meltdown (as long as your child is safe!) isn't selfish. It's essential because it helps to look after your child and yourself.
Ask for the break before you're desperate for it. If you have family and friends who can help for a couple of hours, make sure you ask them. If you're lucky enough to get your kid to holiday club, please book them in. You need a break, caring for kids without any school for 6 weeks is hard work.
And if you haven’t got any help with childcare, grab breaks for yourself where you can. Even if it's 5 minutes for a cup of tea. Build these in before you need them, not after you've hit the wall.
Image by Alina Kovalchuk
Some quick hacks if you and/or your child need a little extra help regulating emotions
Breathing
Slow, controlled breathing slows your heart rate and signals to the brain that you are safe, helping you move out of "fight, flight or freeze."
Sighing
Never underestimate the power of a good sigh! It offers your nervous system a reset as well as energising you.
Movement
Movement helps our bodies complete the stress response. Walking, stretching, dancing around the kitchen or simply shaking out your arms can all help your nervous system shift out of survival mode.
Cold temperature
Splashing cold water on your face or holding some ice can help slow the heart rate. It also gives the brain a strong physical sensation to focus on, helping interrupt spiralling thoughts or intense emotions.
Crunchy food
Crunching provides repetitive sensory input through the jaw. The rhythm of chewing can be calming, while the strong sensory feedback helps anchor attention in the present moment.
Sour flavours
Very sour tastes provide a strong sensory stimulus that quickly captures the brain's attention. This can help interrupt escalating anxiety by redirecting focus to the here and now.
Fragrances
Certain smells can help us feel grounded and safe because of the close connection between our sense of smell and the emotional centres of the brain. Lavender, citrus, peppermint or the smell of a favourite cream or perfume can all be regulating if they're scents you associate with comfort.
Image by Artturi Sivonen
To end
I don’t do all of this well every day – half of this list is really just me reminding myself. Some days we catch the meltdown before it happens. Some days we won’t – and that’s ok too. Be kind to yourself and to your child in the hard moments. And enjoy the good moments when they come, because they will. See you on the other side.
If this blog resonated with you, feel free to share it with another parent who might need the reminder too. And if you're finding things hard, please know you don't have to navigate it alone. I offer online counselling for parents of neurodivergent children and you're always welcome to get in touch for a free, no-obligation chat.